"Let It Be To Me" Part 2

Long ago when I first started blogging, I wrote about "Let It Be To Me as YOU Have Said"...quoting from Mary and Gabriels conversation and applying it to my walk with the Lord.
That is really good in principle. It is right. It is godly.

And it is also down right HARD! when the rubber meets the road.
My rubber is meeting several roads right now. Some with road blocks. Some that are dark.
The road block right now is my journey to Jessicas (my oldest daughter) house for the birth of her fourth child. I want to go. I feel like I need to go. I know she wants me there, even needs me to be there. The road is blocked to me. I keep thinking maybe it is just appearing to be blocked and when the time is right, the block will go away and I can happily go to Virginia and witness my ninth grandchild being born and help my daughter.

I don't want to cause Jessica the pain of not having her mother with her during childbirth. I went through that several times and had a wounded place in my heart for a long time.

I don't want to cause Rachel pain. Rachel is my second daughter who lives at Jessica's house right now. In November it will be a year since I have seen her. I miss her. She misses me and was/is looking forward to me being at the birthing of Samuel. "Lord, I will fail her if I'm not there", I have cried.

I don't want to cause my grandchildren the dissapointment of Grandma Joy not coming in October. Right or wrong, we've been telling them I am coming in October and they are/were excited. It's so nice to have grandchildren longing for grandma to come visit. Honestly, I have never had that before and it was/is something that I wanted so much.

So, here I am...one month before Samuels birthing and I am looking at several road blocks preventing me from going to Virginia.

Then, there is the dark road. My eighth grand child, my third grand son, Emmanuel has just been diagnosed with Sickle Cell Anemia (SCA for short). It's a road I have never walked on before. Emmanuel is just one month old (yesterday). He is beautiful and delightful and LOOKS fine. But now we know, there is a dark road ahead. We have to be careful that he is not where germs are so he won't get sick.

We need to stay well, so we don't make him sick. Emmanuels mother, my youngest daughter, Sarah, had to work and I am Emmanuels caretaker (along with helpful grandfather, Kevin). If we are here, Emmanuel would need a different care taker and he would be exposed to germs his little body are not familiar with and he could get sick. Sarah would worry more.

I try not to be paranoid about the dark road, but me and darkness haven't been the best of friends in the past and we are still not companions.

Today, the rubber is meeting the road. I remember the phrase that Mary said to Gabriel, "Let it be to me as you have said" and I remember that I have told the Lord that I would have that same attitude.

Yet, here I have sat....looking at the road blocks and looking down the dark road with my heart beating too fast and my breaths joining in and I have not remembered that I can safely trust my heart to the Lord of my life.

I repent.

I KNOW in whom I have believed. I know He is able. My heart can safely trust in Him.

I return to my previous resolve. "Let It Be To Me as YOU Have Said"

His Arm is Not Shortened

"Behold, Jehovah's hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear" Isaiah 59:1
I was thinking about this verse this morning. For the last several weeks I have had some severe pain in my hands, elbows and shoulders along with my regular back pain. Because of the pain, my arms are not as useful and my hands cannot grip what they used to.
Sometimes I think we believe that God's arm/hand is shortened and that His ear is deaf where He cannot hear when we have prayed and God has not done OUR bidding.
This verse in Isaiah is not very big, but the message is huge. God does not have our disabilities. His hand can reach ANYWHERE. God's hand can save ANYONE. God's ears can always hear us.
If you continue on to verse two, the scripture is clear as to why sometimes God's hand appears to be inadequate and that His ears are deaf to our prayers. It is because of OUR SINS. The scripture says: "But your wrongs have separated you from your God, and your sins have made him hide his face so that he doesn't hear you. ...
I do get weary hearing God's children telling me that God doesn't answer their prayers. If God is truly NOT answering prayer, then maybe we should look at OURSELVES and ask why....not look at God and ask, why?
Is God hiding His face from me? from you? so He doesn't hear you or me?
Are my wrongs seperating me/you from God?
When we are walking in the light as He is in the light, the blood of Jesus cleanses us from EVERY sin. That would make the seperation between God and me/you null and void.
Unlike me, who has to strain and reach (sometimes in vain) for a glass on the shelf because my arms don't work right, God never has to strain to reach His children (me and you).
I thank God through Jesus Christ. I am victor because HE remains victorious and His hand is not slackened towards me/you.

I Am So Blessed

I am blessed....
To have five children
To have eight, almost 9 grandchildren
To have a godly husband who is a man of integrity
To have lived 53+ years.
To have many friends who are all different from each other.
To belong to a church family that loves one another
To have both my parents still living
To have a grandmother still living
To have known all my grandparents
To have known three of my great grandparents
To have both of my brothers still living
To have two godly brothers
To have two godly women married to my brothers
To have a fun mother in law who loves me
To have a godly father in law that I respect and love
To have a voice to praise God with
To be saved by the blood of Jesus
To have a lovely home in which to serve others
To own a Bible
To have a working computer
To have food in the fridge
To have a place to cook food that is convenient
To have a dishwasher (I love my dishwasher!!!)
To have a closet overflowing with clothes
To be mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy
To have a working vehicle
To have so many reasons to giggle
to have so many blessings....that I must stop here and get to working the blessings I have to share with others.
LOVE YALL>>>>>>bye bye

Was It A Morning Like This?

Do you remember the song, Was It A Morning Like This? It was very popular long ago on the music front. It is even in some of our church hymnals these days.

I was pulling the curtains aside this morning and the sun was so very bright it hurt my eyes. The old song popped into my head. I reviewed the words in my mind, "Was it a morning like this? When Mary ran to the tomb....did the grass sing, the earth rejoice to feel you again? Over and over like a trumpet under ground, did the earth seem to shout "he is risen"........

I don't think I even remember the words exactly right.

As quickly as the song came into my mind....my morning routine shouted all around me. There is breakfast to get...and then, clean up. There is my morning ablutions and then picking up the bedroom...there is helping Sarah with the baby....the phone is ringing....the doorbell announcing the arrival of someone who needs some encouragement and on and on.

As I run around, I am no longer even noticing the bright sunshine or the wonderful old song.

As I walk through the dining room, but sun blinds me and I feel a bit of irritation.

Then, it strikes me.....I had already forgotten the joy I felt at remembering the song and noticing the beautiful sunrise this morning.

As I thought about how quickly LIFE interfered with the joy I had felt at seeing the morning.....I was struck once again with the words of the song, but the meaning was changed. It was more like this.....

Was it a morning like this?
When the glory of the Lord shone, when Jesus was raised from the tomb.
But I was in a rush to get breakfast and get it cleaned up.
And I was thinking about how my day was demanding from me already.
Instead of seeing the importance of the morning gift from God,
I see how the dog has tracked muck in from outside and now I have to vacuum the carpet again today.
I see dishes that were left behind 'around' the sink instead of in it or the dishwasher...
I feel the pain in my joints and think about me, me, me......

Yes, for many, even the day our Lord was resurrected...was a 'morning like this'.
It was 'just a morning"...tho the most important event in history had taken place
....and I was busy 'doing'.
As Anne of Green Gables said to Marilla
"Oh what all you have missed"
So Jesus says to me.
What have I missed because I was so busy 'doing' while God was busy providing for me. What glorious event have I missed because the mundane 'must do's' took over my life.

God, please forgive me for not seeing the morning that YOU had planned.

9/11

Today is September 11th. My husband, Kevin and I went down to the Court House to stand around the flag pole and 'remember'.

It is something we 'chose' to do. We were both so busy we almost decided not to go. I am so glad that we did.

We need to remember that the freedom that we have is freedom we have had to fight for....and die for.

We are not above terrorism.

It could have been in any town, not just New York.

We need to remember the rise of patriotism that came after the horror.

The generosity.

The spiritual attitude of so many.

Flags flying out of car windows and on many, many houses.

Faith in action.

Yes, I needed to remember 9/11.

Memories, light the corners of my mind....

Having a new baby in our house has brought back alot of memories of when my children were little. There are many memories that I want to remember and I want THEM to remember and enjoy, so I have decided to put some on my blog....for them (and for you to enjoy, too).

Some of my favorite 'sayings'..........

Jon to mom as we pile into our very old silver and burgandy van on the way to school. Jon is about five years old...."mama, which part of the van are we praying for this morning?"

Israel, age five says to mommy as she is putting him to bed, "I know what you and daddy do in bed after we are asleep". Mommy says, "What?" Israel replies, "You eat". ;)

Jessica and Rachel's term for their summer flip flops............Jessica-pip pops; Rachel-hip hops.

Sarah to Jon when Jon is questioning about his bio mom....." A Real MOM is one who puts bandaids on skinned knees"

That's all for today. Hope you enjoyed a bit of memory lane.

HOPE

It's September 2nd, 2008. I am in Worland,Wyoming...my earth home for now. Today we went to WalMart--no small fete here in this barren desert place. Our nearest WalMart is nearly two hours drive. It's a 'day event'.

Today was a lovely fall day. Fall has come early this year. You could feel a change in the air two weeks ago. As we were driving along, I noticed that there is already snow on the mountain peaks. It is such a majestic view. I've taken dozens of pictures and NONE of them can ever really capture the essence of the way those mountains look.

Sarah and Emmanuel rode along with us on our trip 'out'. It was a fun adventure taking an eleven day old baby into a store full of people. Everyone looks. After they look, they smile. Then, we smile back and we 'know' without words. I like that.

While we were out having our WalMart adventure, our two dogs were home alone. Sami dog, who is eleven years old, generally goes to sleep while we are out, but the new Prince Mocha dog--well, THAT is a different can of worms. When we returned, the baby hamper had been knocked over and all the baby clothes were strewn upon the floor. Then, the trash can near the baby changing table was knocked over and dirty diapers and wipes were also decorating the carpet. Ick! It was terrible.

Bless Kevin, he took care of that for me. I had my arms full of baby who was ready to be changed and fed and rocked. Sarah was nearly late for a doctors appointment, so she ran on.

The one thing I like about having to drive a ways to get to our destination is that I have the gift of time...time to think...time to pray...and if I am a passenger as I was today, ....time to read.

I have been pondering on a story in the gospels. It is the parable of the Prodigal Son. For a variety of reasons, this story has come to mean a great deal to me. As a parent, I feel for the father who waits (maybe not so patiently) for the return of his much loved, younger, son. As he looked each day toward the horizon...what were his feelings? Was he remembering when the young man was a little boy? Does he think about the prayers that little boy said and the faith he exhibited as a child? Does the father pray and ask the Eternal Father to help the young man remember his faith?

I am sure that the father wondered what the boy was doing. Who were his friends? What sin was he getting into that would be hard to get away from 'when' he came to his senses....and God, would he come to his senses?

Did the father worry....does he have food to eat? ...does he have a bed to lay down in? ...is he even still alive?

As a mother, I have thought these same things about some of my children. My heart grieves, as I am sure the prodigal sons' fathers' heart also grieved.

Jesus doesn't leave the story there. He tells 'the rest of the story'. I think he tells the ending to give hope. Hope that our children who are out in the world, that have turned away from their childhood faith, will 'come home' just as this young man did.

I hang on to that hope for my own wandering children. I pray...'oh God...help them to remember how much you love them and how much we still want them to 'come home'.

I cry with the father. I cry for the father. And, I cry for the children.

When our children were little, I honestly didn't believe any of them would dessert their Heavenly Father. Their faith seemed so sure. We taught them right. We lived our faith before them. We did what was right. When we sinned, we confessed and forsook our wrong and taught our children to do the same.

Yet, here they are.....here we are.....with children who have lost their way.

Thank you, Jesus for telling this story. There are so many truths we can learn from it. But tonight, my truth I am holding on to is the hope....that I shall see my children as they return home...coming from a far country....on the horizon...afar off.

I shall plan a party upon their return....I will rejoice...and I will remember the old father....and rejoice anew with him. I have hope.