Waiting for 'the call'

I am in countdown. My oldest daughter is to give birth SOON. Her due date is October 29th, but she has never gone all the way to her due date.

I won't be there for this glorious event and my heart aches and grieves. Such a special moment making a special memory. I will also miss the anticipating WITH my daughter. I love seeing her pregnant. It is beautiful. I know she is aching and tired, especially with this, her fourth child in four years. But, she glows, she's excited and I'm excited too and to be together with this excitement is something that can never be replaced.

My heart has already welcomed Samuel James into our family and I am anxious to see what he looks like. I will miss the labor and the close intercession that I usually do. The singing of blessing during the labor and watching my incredible daughter--what a woman!

This birthing is different. I am home caring for another daughter and another baby. A special baby with special needs. Jessica blessed me with a 'releasing' call; releasing me from being with her for Samuels birth. We both cried. The desires of our hearts were the same.

So, now I wait for 'the call'. I will hear via the phone that my daughter is in labor. And I will pray from afar. It's the same to the Lord, but it is not the same for the Mother. I will pray and I will continue my work in Wyoming. I will pray and I will do some grieving. I will pray and do some laboring right along with my dauhter. And...I will pray and then, I will get 'the call'. We will rejoice together....all is well. Then, I will wait for a picture. Usually I am the one sending out the pictures from Jessica's house.

I'm not the best photographer, and I have managed to run out of batteries during Rose's birth and then totally erase all the one hundred or so pictures of Lela's birth. I obviously am not the usual one doing the picture taking. ha.

So, today.....may be the day. I am guessing, October 27th. I am guessing, 8 lbs 2 ounces. I am guessing, 22 inches long.

And now....we wait for the call.

A Blast From The Past

GREAT is HIS faithfulness....oh God my Father. I have to shout "Glory" today. There are pressing moments every day that cause me to sigh out to God. I ask for strength to continue on when my weak body is not living up to my expectations.

Then, God showers down strength, grace and blessings and my spirit is running in the rain of them, like I did when I was a little girl delighting in a spring rain.

Today I had a blast from my past. Kevin received an email from one of our fosters sons from about 26 years ago. A little baby came to live with us for two short weeks. We named him John Mark....after two beloved men in the New Testament. John Mark now carries another name that was given to him by his adoptive parents. He is searching for some of his roots and found our names on a letter that I wrote to him as he was leaving our home and then found our name on the internet.

Thank you, God. It has always been a dream of mine to reconnect with our past foster children in some way. I don't know how much 'John Mark' wants to reconnect and we will respect his desires about that.

I enjoyed having foster babies. The foster 'children' were much more challenging and difficult. The babies I always thought were the most fun. We were the interim family that the baby stayed with until the red tape could go through for their adoptive parents.

Those two weeks that John Mark lived with us were filled with infant fun. We didn't know we would only have him for two weeks and we were shocked when Christian Homes of Abilene called to say the paperwork was through and John Mark would be going to his adoptive parents.

Being a foster parent is special. I always saw it as a gift from God. It was a special time for all our family. And when the babys went on to their new home, our heart strings were stretched. Happy for them; happy for the baby, and us? Well, our mission was 'accomplished', but it took longer for the heart to let go.

Trusting that the Lord's will is perfect, I could again and again place my hand in His and allow Him to sooth my heart strings. I would throw myself into special time with our three children and maybe do some special projects with them. There was always, coming home from the placement, stripping the baby crib and putting away baby toys etc. That is when my tears would flow and I would pray. I waited until Israel, Jessica and Rachel went down for their naps and then, I would go through my grieving ritual.

Our fellow foster parents that we went to church with would also call and ask how we were doing. THEY understood the grieving and the rejoicing and how sometimes it would get a bit mixed together.

.........and then, today. Voices from the past rain upon me. I remembered the name, "John Mark"....it took awhile for me to remember which baby the name went with. All day, little details have been coming back to me and I would smile. It's like Christmas in my heart, opening these little memory packages of this little baby who is now grown with a family of his own.

Wow. Such a blast from the past. Thank you, God. I needed that. "Glory"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!