Happy Birthday

Today is my 53rd birthday.

I have been blessed to complete my 52nd year. I am planning to enjoy myself today. It is a good thing to do.

I have already allowed myself to spend over an hour reading a good book this morning. I treated myself to a McDonalds breakfast. My husband gave me a wonderful card that plays music (he and I LOVE these cards). Sarah bought me a dog --a Chihauhau for my birthday and Kevin bought me my cuckoo clock and had it repaired and hung it on the wall. He is also blessing me with doing household chores that are difficult for me to do--he thought of that gift all by himself. I LOVE IT!

I got money from my mom and dad and have ordered myself a blouse with it. I got a card from my brother. I got some raspberries from a friend. Another friend is taking me to lunch this afternoon.

When I began my 52nd year, I honestly thought it would be my last. Just a feeling I had. My 52nd year...... Two grand babies were conceived. We got to go on a vacation in November to Missouri, Illinois and Colorado. I got to see all my children then. Sarah came home. I had two surgeries to repair my hands. I continued to exercise. I lost and regained 35 lbs. Two good friends died. I did not move to a new house :)

There are many other things I could mention, but the point of today, is that my 52nd year is over and the heaviness I felt would be for that year of my life has lifted.

In the next few weeks I will have a new grandbaby; Our lives will change, as this grand baby and her mama (our daughter Sarah) live with us.

LIFE will be a blessing. Such a good gift from our Heavenly Father. In October we will have another grandbaby. More life.....

Thank you God...I anticipate a new year of walking with you.

This Old House

A few days ago I received a photo through email from my mother in law. She had been to Texas on a visit and went back to the town we lived in where our daughter, Rachel was born. She took a picture of Rachels first home.

This house sits upon many, many acres of land. There is a barn where we stored unused items and behind the barn was our chicken pen. Over the hill was a small cabin where hunters stayed during deer season.

It was a beautiful place.

Since receiving the picture from my mother in law, I have stared and stared at our old house. It hasn't been lived in for quite awhile. The outside paint is peeling; the screen door is torn and hanging slightly crooked; if the porch and sidewalk are there, you can't see them for the tall weeds in the front yard. We notice a window unit AC that wasn't there when we were.

We lived there during the hottest Texas summer in 100 years--without AC. We had one box fan and I was pregnant.

As I've pondered on that precious old house, I remember the story that Jesus told about two houses. One was built on a firm foundation--a rock. The storms came and beat upon that house and it stood firm. The other house was built on sand. Sand shifts and changes. The storms came and beat upon that house and it fell. Jesus says, "and great was the fall of it".

How am I doing building 'my' house? Is my life firmly planted on the rock, Jesus? When the storms of life beat upon me; when the winds of change knock me off my feet; and hail comes....am I standing firm because I am built up on the rock?

Or, is my house built upon the sand? Am I living my life trying to conform myself to this world...where fashions change EACH season; price of gasoline changes each day? Am I like that? How great will be my fall?

No, I am built upon the rock. When I am battered about by my enemies, I close my eyes in prayer and find my center, my firm rock--Jesus. Tho all turn against me....my Master holds me fast. When I am accused falsly, I run to the Truth.

I am glad that I learned to follow Jesus early in my life. I've been on the rock for43 years. Jesus updates me, repaints me, redecorates my interior (heart) and I am firmly established.

I Have Finished The Course

2 Timothy 4:7
"I have fought the good fight. I have completed the race. I have kept the faith."

Yesterday I read in a church bulletin that a precious, old friend of mine had died. For nine years, on and off, this precious sister in Christ, sat in front of me every church service. She was old enough to be my grandmother, had wonderful bright red hair and wore shiny gold shoes and lots of gold jewelry. Her face was carefully made up with make up and she always greeted me with a smile. She took an interest in all my children and grand children; rejoicing with me as each new grand child was born and asking to see pictures (every grand mothers great joy).

When we moved away, we kept in touch by letters (REAL ones, snail mail). She came to our house before we moved to Wyoming to join in our celebration of the twins graduation from High School. She laughed with me and she cried with me. I always loved it when she would take hold of my hand and pat it....telling me that everything would work out and to keep strong in my faith.

Now, my sister that I affectionately called, "My Gold Lady" has completed her race and gone on to be with the Lord; joining the great cloud of witnesses that will shout encouragement to me so that I, too will keep the faith, run the race and finish my own journey.

I knew Rena was struggling with her health. She had been on life support for quite awhile now. I continued to write her, knowing that she was unable to write back. It didn't matter. She was there for me when I was so grieved that I couldn't speak....now, it was my turn to 'talk' to her when she no longer could speak back. I read of her passing in a church bulletin. I wept. I rejoiced with her that she had no more pain and no more struggles on this earth. But, for myself, I wept tears of loss.

Loss of a fellow comrade in the race. Loss of someone who demanded nothing of me yet accepted everything I had to give with a smile and eyes that glittered. I shall miss her presence here. I shall also carry her memory in my heart--a memory that will continue to encourage me.

When I visit my grand mother in the nursing home(she is 96 and has many physical ailments that cause her much pain), she has asked me "why won't the Lord just let me go home?"

She is tired and full of pain. She misses my grand father. She misses her comrades. She feels like Elijah "I am the only one left".

I never felt like I had a good answer for Gran. Now, with Rena's passing and my ponderings, I think I have the answer to that question. Gran is not finished with her race; Grans fight is not over; She still must keep the faith while fighting and running. It's a simple answer really. God knows the beginning AND the end of our lives before we are born. They are written in His book.

It is not yet time. Not for Gran. Not for me.

I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself lately. After receiving the prognosis of probable eventual confinement to a wheelchair, I have wondered, cried and prayed about what God wants of me....LIKE THAT! I have struggled against it; prayed against it; cried in torrents, wondering....'what is the point of THIS?"

Now, I know. I haven't yet finished the course. The course (that I planned) has changed, but it is still my course to run.

Maybe I can be someones "gold lady". I can be a smile of encouragement. I can be an 'ear' in the body of Christ. I can ask about children and grand children and rejoice with each new birth into their family. I can still HUG! I can still PRAY! I can still TEACH! I can still GIVE!

"Lord, Let me fight the good fight YOU have laid out before me; Let me complete my race; Let me keep my faith.......until you call me home where there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness."