I Have Finished The Course

2 Timothy 4:7
"I have fought the good fight. I have completed the race. I have kept the faith."

Yesterday I read in a church bulletin that a precious, old friend of mine had died. For nine years, on and off, this precious sister in Christ, sat in front of me every church service. She was old enough to be my grandmother, had wonderful bright red hair and wore shiny gold shoes and lots of gold jewelry. Her face was carefully made up with make up and she always greeted me with a smile. She took an interest in all my children and grand children; rejoicing with me as each new grand child was born and asking to see pictures (every grand mothers great joy).

When we moved away, we kept in touch by letters (REAL ones, snail mail). She came to our house before we moved to Wyoming to join in our celebration of the twins graduation from High School. She laughed with me and she cried with me. I always loved it when she would take hold of my hand and pat it....telling me that everything would work out and to keep strong in my faith.

Now, my sister that I affectionately called, "My Gold Lady" has completed her race and gone on to be with the Lord; joining the great cloud of witnesses that will shout encouragement to me so that I, too will keep the faith, run the race and finish my own journey.

I knew Rena was struggling with her health. She had been on life support for quite awhile now. I continued to write her, knowing that she was unable to write back. It didn't matter. She was there for me when I was so grieved that I couldn't speak....now, it was my turn to 'talk' to her when she no longer could speak back. I read of her passing in a church bulletin. I wept. I rejoiced with her that she had no more pain and no more struggles on this earth. But, for myself, I wept tears of loss.

Loss of a fellow comrade in the race. Loss of someone who demanded nothing of me yet accepted everything I had to give with a smile and eyes that glittered. I shall miss her presence here. I shall also carry her memory in my heart--a memory that will continue to encourage me.

When I visit my grand mother in the nursing home(she is 96 and has many physical ailments that cause her much pain), she has asked me "why won't the Lord just let me go home?"

She is tired and full of pain. She misses my grand father. She misses her comrades. She feels like Elijah "I am the only one left".

I never felt like I had a good answer for Gran. Now, with Rena's passing and my ponderings, I think I have the answer to that question. Gran is not finished with her race; Grans fight is not over; She still must keep the faith while fighting and running. It's a simple answer really. God knows the beginning AND the end of our lives before we are born. They are written in His book.

It is not yet time. Not for Gran. Not for me.

I've been feeling pretty sorry for myself lately. After receiving the prognosis of probable eventual confinement to a wheelchair, I have wondered, cried and prayed about what God wants of me....LIKE THAT! I have struggled against it; prayed against it; cried in torrents, wondering....'what is the point of THIS?"

Now, I know. I haven't yet finished the course. The course (that I planned) has changed, but it is still my course to run.

Maybe I can be someones "gold lady". I can be a smile of encouragement. I can be an 'ear' in the body of Christ. I can ask about children and grand children and rejoice with each new birth into their family. I can still HUG! I can still PRAY! I can still TEACH! I can still GIVE!

"Lord, Let me fight the good fight YOU have laid out before me; Let me complete my race; Let me keep my faith.......until you call me home where there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness."